Is it Not Enough?

Deep below the depths of the ocean, there is a marvelous white sea palace. In that palace is where I live with my Father, Grandmother, and five elder sisters.

Today is a very special day for it is my fifteenth birthday; and when a mermaid turns 15, they have the opportunity to rise up to the surface and see the world that is up above.

One would never understand the just how long I have been dreaming for this day to come. You see every year since my eldest sister turned 15, I would watch in silent envy over how each of my sister would got to have their chance to see the world up above; and every time they returned they would always tell of what they saw. They would mention about the clear blue sky from above, the beautiful towns and churches, and the people that walked on things that I guess are called legs. However at the end of the day, they all would say the exact same thing: "As intriguing as the world above is, there is no place like the sea.", and they would all laugh.

I value the happiness of my family dearly, but sometimes it would upset me how they would just dismiss the land from up above. There was a huge world above that was just waiting to be seen, and nobody ever wanted to see it. It seemed to me, or least I could gather from my sisters explanations, that the surface seemed mysterious and wonderful; and so I would wait anxiously for my time to come.

And today was the day; the day I would finally see the land above from above, and my curiosity would finally be at peace.

I waited anxiously as my father was leading the ceremony that was being held for me in honor of ascend to the surface. I smiled and waved in thanks for everyone that came to my send off, but I don't think it's really necessary. All I am doing is going to explore the land above, and I don't think I need to be treated like I was better than everyone else.

I cringed as I felt my grandmother adorning my hair with the last of the flower chains in my long dark red hair.

"Grandmother, are you sure that wearing flowers in my hair is absolutely necessary?" I ask.

My Grandmother smiles mischievously.

"It's tradition, my dear. Every mermaid that rises to surface has done it for as long as we can remember."

"I still think I look rather silly." I sigh.

"Nonsense child! You look lovely than any sea pearl in the ocean." My Grandmother says, gently kissing my forehead.

I smile sweetly and decide to be a good girl and respect the tradition.

"And now you may rise to the ocean, my daughter." My Father says, gesturing to the world above.

I smile in excitement and sprint upwards as I wave goodbye.

"REMEMBER TO STAY WEARY OF HUMANS! IT IS BAD LUCK IF YOU THEY SEE YOU!" My Father calls to me.

I simply nod.

It isn't long before I spring above the surface like dolphin racing against the waves. I gather my bearings and look up into the evening sky to see the moon's gentle beams shine upon the water. I feel myself in awe; the moon and the sky looks even more beautiful from above. Then I hear the sound of cannons just to my right. I feel slightly startled, but when I turn my head as see these beautiful colors being shot into the sky; almost like they were dancing. I wonder; "where are the colors coming from?" That's when I turn my head and see a large ship not very far off.

Humans must be on that ship, but I can hear my father's warning to not let a human see me. Oh but I have never seen a human before and I will never be satisfied if I don't see one. Maybe just a quick peak won't hurt. With my mind made up, I swam to the ship and climb up, taking care to not be seen. The humans look just like us, only they have what is called legs while we have tails; and from what I can see, they seem to celebrating. I wonder what they are celebrating, thought?"

"ALL HAIL THE PRINCE ON HIS BIRTHDAY!" I could hear someone cry.

"ALL HAIL THE PRINCE!" Everyone cheer.

I turn my head and find myself laying my eyes on the prince. He is so lovely; he looks almost exactly like the statue that I have placed in my little garden when the guards had brought some sunken treasure back to the palace.

I know that I should swim away from the ship now; as I am at huge risk of being seen, but I can't take my eyes off of the handsome prince. It's almost as if he has stolen my heart away. So I sit and stare longing at my prince.

"If only I could feel the touch of your face." I think longingly to myself.

Suddenly clouds seem to completely block out the moon and the wind picks up. I know that a storm is well underway. I love storms and love to race against them under the sea. However from what I can tell, everyone that is on board actually seems rather frightened.

Lightening flashes in the sky and the pounding waves send the ship violently jerking on the ship, knocking me back into the sea. I resurface and continue to watch the horrific site. It's too dangerous for me to be too close, but I can't look away as I am too worried about what could happen to my prince. So I stay in my place.

Then a huge lightening bolt strikes the ship, immediately destroying the ship and sending it down to it's watery grave. Victims and all.

My eyes widened in horror as this thought pounders my mind. My poor prince; he will not survive in the world of the sea! I must save his life!

I dive back into the water searching frantically for him, all while praying that I am not late. That's when I just see the prince beginning to sink helplessly into the darkest depths below.

"NO!" I cry, swimming as fast I could to him. I manage to grab him and immediately bring his head back up to surface; taking special care so he would not drown. I can't help but smile at his unconscious face; he looks even more beautiful up close.

"I will save you." I softly say to him. Then with all my strength, I swim as fast as I can to the closest beach.

The morning light is just appearing along the horizon when I finally reach the shore.

With every last bit of strength, I gently set the prince along the soft sands of the shore. Sitting beside him, I gently lay my head against his chest and can hear his soothing heart beat.

"You can live another day." I softly whisper to him.

Only my time with him has to be cut short as I hear the sound of people coming toward us. Which means I have to leave to avoid being seen. I kiss the prince lightly on the forehead before I dive back into the water and quickly swim behind a rock that was a safe distance away.

I watch and see several girls that seemed to be coming from some sort of building at the top of the hill walking toward the prince. They stopped when they notice him; and one of the girls, who bears a frightening resemblance to me only with browner hair, runs to him first in shock.

I can see her gently shaking the prince; and to my happiness, I see his onyx eyes open.

The girl then helps him up and takes him back to the building.

That's when my happiness changes to sadness as I realize that throughout this entire ordeal, he did not know that I had saved him. For that matter, he didn't even know I existed.

I swim back home in despair, knowing I wouldn't be able to get the prince out of my mind.

I ignore everyone and everything when I get back to palace. All I want to do is just sit my garden and stare at my statue. As I stare it a thought occurs to me.

"Why don't I just go back to the spot and catch another glance at him?"

I smile softly to myself. I mean what could possibly go wrong?

Evening comes and I immediately swim back. I brace myself to see the prince's beautiful face once again. Only I found myself feeling troubled because throughout the entire night I sit there, I don't see at all.

"Where could he be?" Was all I could think to myself, mournfully.

Day after day I would return to the same exact spot and just wait for him; but he didn't come, and I couldn't understand why. And it wouldn't be very long until I would start lose faith in seeing him again. If I could cry, my face would be streaming with tears. But alas, this is not so; and then I stopped venturing to the spot altogether.

Now all I do is sit in my garden that is now wild and unkept and just stare at my marble prince and think; if only, if only.

My sisters suddenly interrupt me from somber vigilant with some news.

"We have discovered the whereabouts of your prince, little one! There is no longer a need to be sad! Come and we shall take you to him!" My oldest sister smiles.

Taking my hand, they lead me to where the prince's castle is located; and before I can realize it, I see my prince standing at one of the castle's balconies.

I sigh happily when I see him once again; and from beautiful white rock, I take my perch, refusing to take my eyes off of him.

I feel the even drag and I start feeling unhappy again. Yes I now have found where the prince resides, but I can only look at him from afar; and that's just not enough. I don't want to spend all time staring at him, I want to spend my time with him. But, alas he is a human and I am a mermaid; and there is no way that we could ever be together. Unless there was a way. Maybe Grandmother might know if that were ever possible.

I clasp my hands towards my heart as I timidly swim back to the palace. The minute I reach the castle. I confront my Grandmother.

"Grandmother, is it possible for a mermaid to marry a human?" I ask.

My Grandmother frowns slightly.

"Why on Earth would ask?" She answers.

"I just want to know." I explain.

"My child, merpeople and humans couldn't be anymore different. Humans have an even shorter life span than we do; however when they do die, it is said that their souls ascend to place called heaven."

"How long does a soul live?" I ask in awe.

"A human soul is everlasting. While we live for hundreds of years and then when we die, we become sea foam and no longer exist."

"Could I ever gain soul, Grandmother?" I ask, hungry for the answer.

"Merpeople will never have their own soul, unless they marry a human and part of their soul is transpired into theirs." The elderly mermaid explained.

"So it is possible to marry a human?" I smile.

"Why would you? You would have to become human with those ugly stumps called legs. No child, we find that we are happier with the way things are now; and when our times comes for us to dissolve into sea foam, we find that we all feel content and feel nothing but happiness and accomplishment. Which I feel is much more satisfying then going through so much trouble to gain a human soul that I feel seems almost impossible."

I lower my head when I feel my Grandmother gently lift my head up, smiling at me.

"Chin up my dear, for tonight we are going to have ball and celebrate the happy lives we have under the sea."

Only I do not feel happy at all. I wouldn't feel any satisfaction living hundreds just to dissolve into foam along the waves. I would much rather have my prince and with a shorter life to lead to me to everlasting life with an immortal soul. Oh my loving Grandmother, if only you could understand.

The ball that night still does bring any content. On the outside though, I smile and sing for everyone as they praise me for having the most beautiful voice in all of the sea. But what good is that doing me? I would much sing to my prince; but what can I do?

Then an idea comes to my mind.

I'll go see the sea witch; she can help me.

Seeing my chance, I sneak away from the party and swim to the deepest depths of the ocean. Once there, I find a dark cave and swim within. Along the way, numerous tentacle like plants weave all around, making all attempts to grab me. One actually manages to grasp my arm. I let out a frightened cry and want to turn back; but I want my prince and a human soul, so I press on.

Determination does wonders as I find myself reaching the end of the caves tunnel to find a house made from bones of ship wreaked men. I breathe deeply; it's now or never.

I innocently swim inside to see the sea witch sitting in the gloom. Snakes and toads seemed to be all around her. She frowns at me.

"I know why you've come here, little mermaid, and I am willingly to give you what you want; but it will come with a very high price." She said, morbidly.

"I will do whatever it takes." I say, firmly.

The sea witch sighs at me.

"I will make you a potion that will transform your mermaids tail into delicate little legs. When you gain human form, you will be able to dance like no human has ever danced before. However, ever step you take will be as if you are treading on the sharpest of blades, and your feet will bleed. Do you accept?"

"Yes!" I say, my prince I am coming.

"And when once you take my potion, you will never again be allowed to return to the sea ever again."

"I understand." I answer.

"There is also a catch; should the prince marry another, the following day of his wedding at dawn your heart will break and you dissolve into sea foam. If he marries you though, a soul will be your reward." She explained.

"I accept the consequences." I say with my thoughts only on my prince and an immortal soul.

The sea witch frowned again.

"Now as for payment, you must give up your most prized possession. I feel that your voice is something of high value. So that is what I demand as payment."

I feel myself cringing; but I need my voice or won't be able to talk to the prince or sing to him. What do I do?

"If I give you my voice, then I am going to have left?" I ask in despair.

The sea witch sighed.

"The choice is up to you; but you will still have your beauty and your grace. That should be enough to gain the prince's affection. Do you still wish for my potion or not?"

I smile sadly.

"So be it." I utter my last words.

The witch starts preparing my potion. I watch in horror as she throws numerous herbs and snakes into pot, she even drops some of her blood in there. But when everything is said and done, the potion is completed, and I let her cut out my tongue. Now I can no longer speak or sing. A tragedy isn't it.

I nod my thanks to her. I start to swim back when she calls to me one more time.

"Be sure to drink that by dawn, otherwise it will be no good!"

I nod and start to swim back to the princes castle; but I find myself staring off into the distance of the sea palace. I'm tempting to go back once last time, but decide not to. They wouldn't understand anyway. I simply blow gentle kisses in that direction and swim away.

I find the swim to the castle not very long and my heart filled with excitement. The prince was so close to me that I could almost feel him. I quickly climb onto the steps and open the flask containing potion. Once I drank it, there would be no going back.

But with my goals so close to me, I shut my eyes and down the potion in one swig.

Just as soon as I ingest it, I feel this sharp within me. It's almost life someone is stabbing me repeatedly and it just won't end. I try crawling but it's almost impossible to move. Soon I can no longer take the pain and collapse.

I feel myself coming to when I look up towards the sky and see that it's morning. How have I been out? I'm about to ask myself more question when I look up again and see the prince looking down at me.

I feel frightened even with my prince standing right. I feel myself backing away.

"It's all right..." His says in a deep gentle voice. "I'm not going to hurt you."

I look down at my half naked body to see instead of tail, but a pair two delicate little legs. I grin in delight; I am now a human.

"Can you tell me your name." The prince asks me.

I open my mouth to answer when no sound comes out. I feel rather troubled at this when I feel it hit me: I had given up my voice to be with him.

"You must be a survivor of a ship wreak." He concludes.

All I can do is shrug my shoulders as he helps me up.

"Don't worry, we'll get you a warm bath and fresh clothes."

We had to castle together and every step I took was pure agony; I even find myself looking back and actually seeing my bloody footprints. The price I must pay for love and an immortal soul.

I would then be cleaned and given a beautiful silk blue gown to wear. When I was presented to the prince, he smiled at me.

"You are such a beautiful creature, and I wish for you to sit next to me."

I blush widely as I sat beside him on the floor.

The evening came and the prince had ordered some slave girls to sing for. They all sang beautifully but I can't help but feel jealous and resentful. I could once sing better than all of those girls put together; but since I had given up my voice for legs, I could no longer prove that. My prince, if only you knew. Then they all started dancing, that's when I felt myself grin. I might be able to sing, but I can dance for you.

I stand up on the tip of my toes, bracing myself. When I felt I was ready, I began to glide on the floor. Every movement I made on the outside was as graceful as the waves; however if you knew what was going on the inside, you would know that all I feel is agony as I dance. Blood gushes out of my feet like it was a waterfall; but since everyone is so enchanted by my beautiful dance, nobody notices or cares about my pain. I see the prince loves my dancing so I bare it all for him.

When I finish, the prince claps his hands and begins to twirl me in his arms.

"You are so beautiful and graceful, my little fondling; and I want you beside me for as long as I can have you." He smiles, kissing my forehead.

He then has his servants place a large cushion outside his door for me to sleep on. To prove my love for him, I graciously accept.

In the morning I'm given a special dress so we can riding in the mountains, and the experience is everything that I have always dreamed it would be. The beautiful mountains that seemed to rise toward sky. The flowers were even more fragrant than the ones under the seas. I loved it all; and the whole time I seemed to forget all about the pain and blood whenever I walked.

Every moment I spent with the prince was happier and happier with each passing day; I would spend every moment I could with him whether we climb in the mountains or we visited the town with all of it's vast buildings and in the evening, I would dance since for him as it always made him happy.

But if I'm so happy, why do I still feel an emptiness within me? This thought really comes to mind late at night when I sit outside at the edge of the water and soothe my burning and bloody feet; and when I sit there, my sisters will swim up to me with mournful looks in their eyes.

"Are you at peace, little one? Did you spread your wings and fly as you always dreamed?" They would gently ask.

I always nod and give them the assurance that I am okay and that I don't regret the decision that I made. Which is true; I'm glad I made the choice to be with my prince. However, I would be lying if I said I said I didn't miss family dearly. Some nights I swear I can see my father and Grandmother off in the distance with sad smiles on their faces. Sometimes I wonder what my mother would have thought of my choices. How I missed her dearly. But then I would be forced to watch them all swim away and I go cushion to sleep.

Time goes on and on and my love for my prince grows and grows, but it seems like the prince doesn't love me in the way that I love him. He seems to love me like one would love a little child. That's when I would feel my emptiness slightly and I would look at him with lost eyes.

"Do you love me?!" My eyes would cry, begging him to respond.

"Of course I love you, my dear little fondling." He would then kiss my lips and play with my hair. "You remind me of a girl once met."

My eyes would become hopeful.

"There is a girl I once met on the shores that's was by a convent. I was shipwrecked at sea some time ago and the convent girl had save me from drowning. It is my desire to marry the girl who saved me; but alas, I have not seen her since then."

I feel despair. He really had no idea that I was the one who saved him. Here I have been faithfully by his side and go through such pain to make him happy, but his heart is set on the girl from the beach and not me. My prince I have given up everything for you, but is it not enough?

However just like always I push the thought away. As he hasn't seen since, there was still hope for me.

Then one day a messenger came from a neighboring kingdom claiming that the prince was set to marry the princess from that kingdom. I could see the look of anger in his eyes when this was announced.

"How can they make me marry a woman I can not love?! The only woman I love was the girl from the shore, but I'll never see her again. If I had to pick someone to marry, it would be you, my mute child. However, my parents are insistent that I go see this princess, so I'll go and oblige them; but I will not marry her!" He explained to me.

I smile to myself knowing hopes is not lost.

We set sail for the neighboring kingdom. As I stare out the water I feel myself smiling; the immortal soul and my prince were closer and closer with each passing day.

We were all welcomed to kingdom warmly and it appeared that we had arrived just in time as the princess had just returned home from her teachings in a distance land. Entering the room, we laid eyes on the princess; and in ironic twist of fate, it was the shame girl from the convent. Her dark eyes soft and warm and lips as red as the darkest rose. I could already feel my heart breaking; but the prince was beside himself in joy.

"It's you! The girl that had saved me from drowning!" He cried as held her in his arms. "Never again will you and I be separated!"

During his time of joy, I just wanted to cry out that it was me that had saved him and that I should be wife; but without tears I couldn't cry, and without a voice I couldn't scream.

He turned to me.

"I have found my love!" He said, holding me tightly. "Rejoice with me in my happiness!"

All I could do at this point was try to smile and gently kissed his hand. What did it matter? At dawn after his wedding was going to be my end.

The wedding had taken place as soon possible. The bride and groom were nothing but smiles and joy while I stood behind the bride holding her train as all I could think about was my tragic ending and all the happiness around me seemed so distant.

When the celebration was over, everyone boarded the ship back to the prince's kingdom. While on the ship everyone continued to celebrate for the prince and his new bride with cannon fire and dancing. I even joined in the dancing regardless of the pain; the pain in my heart was even worse.

Soon the night fell late and everyone retreated to bed except for where I sat at the edge of the ship. With the first time in my life tears streaming down my face; with me finally realizing everything that I had done.

I had a life back in the sea. I had a father and a grandmother and sisters who loved me and knew me better than anyone and all had done was put them through pain and misery because of my selfish and unrealistic dream. I had a life and I gave it all away for the prince, but it wasn't enough.

I look toward the sky; morning would be upon me, and then there would be nothing.

"Little sister?!" I hear a voice call. It sounded like my sisters.

"Little sister over here!" I heard the voice again.

I ran to the side of the boat to my sisters looking up at me. Only there hair had been cut into shoulder length bobs and their long locks gone.

I choke back a sob when I see them.

"Little sister! There is still hope for you! We gave our hair to the sea witch in return for this dagger!" My oldest sister said, throwing it me.

I held it in my hands, morbidly.

"You must kill the prince with this dagger and when his blood drips onto your bloodstained feet, they will turn back into tail and you can return to the sea and live out the rest of your years.

My eyes widened at this thought.

"Please little sister! There is no other option! We are all so worried about you! The sun will be rising soon so you must hurry! It's either the prince or you!" They sighed before vanishing back into the water.

I breathed heavily as walked into couple's tent with the knife in my hand. I could see the prince sleeping peacefully next to his new bride.

There is no other option, if I don't do this, then everything I've sacrificed was pointless.

I hold the knife above my head ready to stab him but I find myself unable to lower it.

Even after everything, I can not bring myself to kill him. I love him to much and I want for is for him to be happy, even if it is not with me.

With heartbroken sigh, I gently kiss him one last time before leaving the tent.

When I am back outside, I can already see the first rays of the sun. I simply walk to the edge and simply drop the dagger into the darkened water. From the spot I dropped it, I could see a red spot.

The light becomes brighter and brighter, my time has come and I am prepared to accept the consequences.

I step over edge looking back one last time; even now I have now regrets.

With the tears now forever falling I threw myself into cold water.

I feel myself sinking as the light is now fully upon me. I start to fade away, but I feel peaceful as I stare into the morning sky one final time.

"Farewell... my prince..." I thought I heard myself whisper as I smile.

Then all was silent.